I'VE GOT HOTTER PLACES THAN MY FOREHEAD (Johnny Cash, at least in "Walk the Line")

So this is just one of those reminders to myself: it's a weird time of year, with (bizarrely) some 10-year anniversaries mixed in with other anniversaries. I wonder if it's just this time of year... I wonder if this is just one of those cleaves that heals but doesn't close. It feels like the latter.

And it has now for some time.



I hope cocktails help.
I'm planning on it, in fact.

IM AN IDIOT (sic)

»So, the other night when you got out of the cab, the driver asked me if I was crazy to be letting you out.

Uh-huh... (confession: reading GoFugYourself simultaneously, not really paying 100% attention) ... and?

»And I told him, "No, this is as far as we can go together." It was very zen.

Uh-huh... ?? Wait, what are you telling me here?

»Yeah, I don't really know, actually. I started to tell you because I was still thinking about it, and I thought it was funny.

You started. But now...? What??

»Then I started to type it, and I was thinking, why DO we only go that far again?

»I'm forgetting right now. That's what I'm telling you.

Oh my god. Did you take your pills this morning?

»But it feels weird that I'm thinking that.

»I don't take them EVERY DAY.

But, do you NEED TO TAKE THEM NOW?

»NO.

Okay. So wait -- I hate when we get out of order.

It feels weird, how do you mean this?

»I mean: have we been dating for the past few weeks but didn't know it?

No. NO. I'm dating Nadal. You are dating whats-her-name.

»Emily. Stop.

No, I'm just -- I'm BLANKING, you know how I am like that. I can't... I can only remember the feel of her name, not her real name. It's.... not coming to me, but if you SAID it, I would instantly remember it. It is exotic, that's why. And since I've never MET HER, I can't be one hundred percent blamed for that. I have not much to go on.

But anyways, how would WE be dating? And, as I type that, *let me just say* I think I know exactly what you mean. Oh, shit. Are we accidentally dating?? This is too many things for me to keep track of. Shit. We are like those people who have sex when they're asleep but don't remember it.

»That is NOT where I thought this was going. Continue.

You're nasty. I sent you that Hannah Montana story.
Continuing: I just mean, you know, are we getting into something subconsciously, and if yes, how can that be??

You know what? We just have the same issues, and that is why we are both good and bad for each other. I think if we don't make this a thing, then it's not one.

And the next thing I thought and was going to write there was, "What are we getting [redact to protect!] for his party?" which means, we have to each get [redact to protect!] something alone, and not together. And bring whats-her-name to the party, and I will bring Nadal. We just need a course-correction; the train is not completely off the rails. Sometimes I still bite a nail, but I stop myself, and then they all look good again.

How is that for zen, brother?!?

I have solved this problem; I win today.

»Is buying you dinner a good enough reward?

Ass. Call your shrink.